How can I stay friends with my ex-girlfriend after a breakup?

by admin on April 16, 2010



We dated for 6.5 years and she really is my best friend. The last 2 year we have dated it has been more like friends anyway. Lately I have been thinking we would be better off on are own. We are in different stages of our life. She is 47 and kids are on their own. I am 37 with custody of my 2 kids. My son has mild autism. Two weeks ago she said she wanted to break up the main reason being she couldn’t be with someone who’s kid may never leave the house. She said she always wants to be my friend and will always be there for me but she doesn’t return calls or e-mails and i just sit here and go crazy. Then she did e-mail me back and said she was having a hard time dealing with the break-up but it was the right decision and the easy way would be just to get back with me so she needs her space for awhile. I don’t get it I don’t want to get back together but I don’t want to lose her as a friend. Any advice?

Originally posted 2008-09-22 12:22:22.

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

SDS September 24, 2008 at 3:30 am

Why keep her as a friend?

Julia C September 26, 2008 at 2:12 am

All you have to do is tell her i no that we broke up but we can still be friends right it does mean that you guys can’t be friends just ask her can we still be friends even we broke up!!
Julia♥

Kırmızışeker September 28, 2008 at 8:57 am

Just give her some time. Once she’s cooled off, then you can contact her again, and hopefully start your friendship back up again.

Loraine F September 30, 2008 at 3:56 am

Honestly, if she really loved you, your child having autism wouldn’t matter. She seems shallow. She shouldn’t have ever dated you if she didn’t want someone whose child may never leave due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control. My advice is to concentrate on your kids, and later on find someone who’s worthy of your love. Being just friends never works. My advice is to stop all contact with her. No emails, phone calls etc. And no returning any of them if she calls you, except for maybe to tell her to not contact you again. Good luck.

Sweet Dragon October 3, 2008 at 4:25 am

My advice : Don’t force friendship back…

pet-ricoestaver October 6, 2008 at 5:31 am

Screw her she aint your freind she ***** leave her alone and no dont call her.

Daniel October 7, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Sadly there is not way to stay good friends with someone after a breakup. The only way to prevent the awkwardness and resentment is not to go steady with her while you’re dating. Keep things more friendly than one-on-one and it will keep the relationship healthy even after you stop dating her.

Low_Jac October 7, 2008 at 7:54 pm

Why would you want to? Is she going to set you up with all of her cute friends? No….

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RACHEL B October 9, 2008 at 6:57 am

just give each other space, then decide if you still want to be friends. sometimes you cant be friends but you be civil to each other if you bump into one and other. i think you should have a clean break from each other. hope you find someone who’ll love you and both of your kids.

aph k October 12, 2008 at 12:11 pm

I’m with Loraine. friendship is worthless if she’s like that. ok, i know it hurts! just stop calling her. not to prove you’re brave or anything but to get back to your sanity.

wowwee October 14, 2008 at 1:48 pm

Maybe friends is where it should have started and should have stayed. Don’t make too many changes, the autistics don’t like that.

terliuke October 16, 2008 at 2:19 am

What kind of friend doesn’t like your children?? Leave you because your kid has a mild autism? That’s the stupiest reason that I ever heard. She is being selfish and she doesn’t care about you or your children, and you don’t need such friends. Let it go, and put your kids in the first place. If someone doesn’t like your kids, you should have to do nothing with them!

swequin October 17, 2008 at 4:52 am

Time heals all wounds. Sorry dude but she wants to be distant and maybe pursue a new relationship. It would be very difficult for her to move on to another relationship with you and your past relationship. In time, if you really back off she may want to be friends. Good luck, Swequin

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