My ex broke up with me last summer to find “greener pastures”. We were together for over 9 years, but she was not looking for marriage (she was divorced once already and did not want to remarry). We were each other’s best friends and always said we would remain friends no matter what. However, when she said she wanted to date other dudes, I felt I could not watch that happen while being her bff, so I cut off all contact. At the time, I felt really good about it because it spared me the pain of seeing her with other dudes. One year later though, I feel like I betrayed our friendship. I miss her deeply, and I know I can live without her, but my question is if I did the right thing? Was I too hard on her? She wanted to stay in contact, and even made several attempts at keeping communication going, but I shut it all down on her. Has anyone else ever gone through this situation?
Originally posted 2008-10-04 21:02:17.
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
yes ,it is better that way maybe in the future she will understand.
Atleast have some form of contact with her like atleast know er number but not like shut her off that you dont know anything.
the cleaner the break, the better
you don’t want baggage going into your next relationship
cold turkey no contact is ultimately the best for both you and for her
umm yea, your fuked up. i went through the same thing she was nice, but dumped me to date anotha to ask me back…i don’t care if i sound desperate i would still take her back
dude start talking to her again tell her what u felt and what u told us trust me she’ll understand
o Best answer
yeah you did the right thing. If your asking that question something tells me you will contact her, you may think you have got over her but imagine seeing her kiss someone else, not nice is it ,it will be alot worse in person
It sounds like you did do the right thing. You dated her for a very long time, and it was probably good that you gave her some space after the break up because you both had a lot to think about. Even though you guys dated for such a long time and knew each other so well, it sounds like it would’ve been impossible to watch her date other guys. Since it has been a while though, you should probably meet up with her to catch up, and hopefully you will be able to renew your friendship. Good luck!
I think you did the right thing
It really hard to get over a break up when that person is in your life and when my friends struggle to move on I always recommend to just cut off all contact. It might seem harsh but you have to worry about the tole it’s taking on your poor heart. 9 years is a long time that you invested and to be kicked to the curb like that makes it even worse. I think now that you are back on your feet again then you should contact her and just explain that you needed time away from her in order to deal with the beak up. She has to understand that!! If you miss her, give her a call!! 